Anyone but England: Five reasons some people want England to lose

I can vividly remember the first night out I had as a student just arrived in Madrid in the late summer of 1996. Buzzing after Euro ’96 and with the glow of Cool Britannia in full bloom, I thought being from England would be a positive thing. Together with a couple of Belgians I we went to a club and got involved with the customary “where are you from?” chat with a group of young Spanish ladies.

When it came to my turn I told them London. All three of them turned their noses up and gave me a dismissive wave and rude word or two. A little piqued I asked why they had responded as they had.

“Because you English think you are better than anyone else!”

I don’t know what their personal experience was but this is not a new concept. Writing nearly two centuries earlier in Corinne, ou L’Italie, author Madame de Staël writes of the Italians; “we are neither self-satisfied like the French, nor proud of ourselves like the English.”

You may have spotted in your social media feeds some people willing on England’s opponents, ready with their witty tweets about England coming home when they eventually get eliminated. But why?

Here are a few suggestions:

History

There’s a brilliant book by Stuart Laycock entitled All the Countries We’ve Ever Invaded and the Few We Never Got Round to, which outlines the many, many countries England – or the United Kingdom, since the union with Scotland – has had a fight with. It’s 90% of the whole planet! So, when Maradona invoked the Malvinas/Falklands conflict ahead of the 1986 World Cup quarter-final with England or donned a Colombia shirt ahead of the second-round match there’s a historical legacy in play. Although England’s not alone among European countries that have hugely problematic colonial histories – Spain, Portugal, Germany, France, Italy, Netherlands, Russia, Austria and Hungary, Belgium…

George Orwell’s analogy of sport as war minus the shooting is fitting for football. If you don’t believe me, just look at Switzerland v Serbia.

Contemporary politics

Brexit has damaged the UK’s image abroad. Leaving the European Union was the marginal majority view in England (and Wales) outside of the major cities. I’m not going to delve any deeper or I’d be here all week…

Some fans

There’s always one. The vocal minority that just has to bring World War II into it. Or the “No Surrender” song. The ones who feel obliged to throw restaurant chairs around a European town and boo opposing national anthems. These are the ones that embarrass us all.

Fans abroad are ambassadors for their country, wherever they come from. Look at the vibrancy the South Americans bring, or the joy of the Senegalese, who even cleaned up after themselves!

The tabloid press

A lot of people around the world understand English, so can understand what English media are saying and writing. Certain elements of the English tabloid press have had a reputation for headlines that have not gone down well abroad – or at home!

Jingoism

Three Lions is a very singable classic, as is World in Motion, both harmless, fun football songs. What we don’t need – viz point 1 – is the Rule Britannia imperialist rubbish. For me, English people are proud of the wrong things. St George is a fictional character reputed to have killed a fictional creature. None of it is real and the myth isn’t even from England.

On the other hand, William Shakespeare died on St. George’s Day 1616. We should be celebrating him instead and our other positive creative contribution to the world – from the sports we codified and exported, to our amazing writers, our incredible musical canon and inventions.

Having said all that, there will be plenty of people around the world getting behind England at Russia 2018.

The Premier League has helped make the country popular in Asia and elsewhere, and this young, exciting and multicultural team and articulate manager are a credit to the country.

I’m also reliably informed the Danes will be supporting England this weekend – they are playing Sweden, after all…